"Oh, what's become of you, Percy? Where's the man I married?"
"Odd's fish, m'dear... You're looking at him..."
I've had a while to think about what's been going on in my life. Besides the normal "blah" from day to day, of problems that need to be solved as they arise, I've been thinking, and pondering, a lot, about Chris. More than I'd care to, as a matter of fact. It bothers me, the whole thing, as it always has, and I've been ok for a while with squelching it. But... As I sit here, in my old room, where I'm supposed to be doing work while mom's getting the house appraised because they're getting ready to move to who knows where, that line jumped into my head. I've been patronized every time I've tried to talk to Chris, and yes, I've come to realize nothing I say is going to show him his mistakes, even though they're right out there for all to see, except for that demmed school and those deluded kids there. *shakes head* And you know, maybe, just maybe, that line fits. Maybe, his weakness was there for all to see, maybe this could've been seen in advance, maybe the signs were there long before this all culminated into what it is now. Maybe he always was as weak as he is now, in mind and heart, that he could give and take his love from someone so quickly, just because his blind belief in his "higher power" told him so. This pattern also worries me. Because, I know, that if he's able to do this, then he will be capable of doing anything, just so long as his "higher power" says so. What's to say that if he got some "sign" from his god, that told him to go out and kill a bunch of people, like a whole bunch of other "religious fanatics" have done, that he wouldn't do it? He's been blinded, ladies and gentlemen, by his need to "belong", and to find some higher meaning in his life. This is why I have such strong feelings towards him. He knows, as does everybody else I've ever known, that I hate weak and stupid people, people that don't stand up for themselves, and blindly follow like sheep. And his word advocates that, to follow, like a demmed sheep, and do whatever is told to them, without question, for some, ultimate reward at the end of the freakin' rainbow. And, of course, it tries to fit into real life, because of that stupid notion that they will be hated by all because of what they do, what they believe. *shakes head* This shit gets me all riled up, because I know that the real Chris Ashby wouldn't have been this weak. Or, maybe, he would've, maybe he always has been, and maybe, just maybe, I was too blind and dumb to see that he was this weak little boy, who is capable of abandoning his family and friends when a whole bunch of strangers and an outdated book tell him to. No matter what he says to the contrary, I know it's true, as does everybody else who sees him like this, who knew who he used to be. His ability to just... Pick up and run, has always astounded me, even before this all happened. To run away from confrontation, to act like an ass-pansy because he's scared of fighting, to turn away perfectly good friends because they don't conform to his... Way of life... *sets jaw* I need to stop, this always pisses me off. I gave up once on this whole subject, and damnit, I need to go back to that, no matter how much he screws up his life and the other's around him, I'm tired of this shit, and I'm going to wind up in the demmed hospital because of it. Chris, if you read this, just stay the hell out of my life, you've wrecked it enough as it is, and no, you're not being persecuted, so you can't use that excuse. The only reason I loathe you, is because you're weak and dumb, and, perhaps, you always have been that way, you've only just let others see it recently.
"People's personalities never change; Just their choices. But they never can avoid being who they really are, not for extended periods of time."
Name-Cheska
Age-22
School-Life
Graduated from- Gryffindor
bday-10/19
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Best friend's last autobiography
Torture the potions master in horrible, violent ways
New broom
Punch Percy in face
Bring Sirius back to life
Get Ron and Hermione to finally date
Make Umbridge disappear
Bring Dumbledore back to life!!!!
Buy a hippogriff
Buy a dragon
Lexi's Blog
Thalionmorgul
My Art Gallery
Inu vs. Sess (Our gaming review blog)
Da creater
"Oh, what's become of you, Percy? Where's the man I married?"
"Odd's fish, m'dear... You're looking at him..."
I've had a while to think about what's been going on in my life. Besides the normal "blah" from day to day, of problems that need to be solved as they arise, I've been thinking, and pondering, a lot, about Chris. More than I'd care to, as a matter of fact. It bothers me, the whole thing, as it always has, and I've been ok for a while with squelching it. But... As I sit here, in my old room, where I'm supposed to be doing work while mom's getting the house appraised because they're getting ready to move to who knows where, that line jumped into my head. I've been patronized every time I've tried to talk to Chris, and yes, I've come to realize nothing I say is going to show him his mistakes, even though they're right out there for all to see, except for that demmed school and those deluded kids there. *shakes head* And you know, maybe, just maybe, that line fits. Maybe, his weakness was there for all to see, maybe this could've been seen in advance, maybe the signs were there long before this all culminated into what it is now. Maybe he always was as weak as he is now, in mind and heart, that he could give and take his love from someone so quickly, just because his blind belief in his "higher power" told him so. This pattern also worries me. Because, I know, that if he's able to do this, then he will be capable of doing anything, just so long as his "higher power" says so. What's to say that if he got some "sign" from his god, that told him to go out and kill a bunch of people, like a whole bunch of other "religious fanatics" have done, that he wouldn't do it? He's been blinded, ladies and gentlemen, by his need to "belong", and to find some higher meaning in his life. This is why I have such strong feelings towards him. He knows, as does everybody else I've ever known, that I hate weak and stupid people, people that don't stand up for themselves, and blindly follow like sheep. And his word advocates that, to follow, like a demmed sheep, and do whatever is told to them, without question, for some, ultimate reward at the end of the freakin' rainbow. And, of course, it tries to fit into real life, because of that stupid notion that they will be hated by all because of what they do, what they believe. *shakes head* This shit gets me all riled up, because I know that the real Chris Ashby wouldn't have been this weak. Or, maybe, he would've, maybe he always has been, and maybe, just maybe, I was too blind and dumb to see that he was this weak little boy, who is capable of abandoning his family and friends when a whole bunch of strangers and an outdated book tell him to. No matter what he says to the contrary, I know it's true, as does everybody else who sees him like this, who knew who he used to be. His ability to just... Pick up and run, has always astounded me, even before this all happened. To run away from confrontation, to act like an ass-pansy because he's scared of fighting, to turn away perfectly good friends because they don't conform to his... Way of life... *sets jaw* I need to stop, this always pisses me off. I gave up once on this whole subject, and damnit, I need to go back to that, no matter how much he screws up his life and the other's around him, I'm tired of this shit, and I'm going to wind up in the demmed hospital because of it. Chris, if you read this, just stay the hell out of my life, you've wrecked it enough as it is, and no, you're not being persecuted, so you can't use that excuse. The only reason I loathe you, is because you're weak and dumb, and, perhaps, you always have been that way, you've only just let others see it recently.
"People's personalities never change; Just their choices. But they never can avoid being who they really are, not for extended periods of time."