"You do know that Ian's going to kick your ass in like, two seconds, right?"
Alright, I had hoped to avoid all contact with Christopher Ashby for the rest of my life, but it seems that he won't let me. So, I'm going to lay a few things out here, and I'm going to be as calm and rational about it as possible, considering I've had enough time to just realize what I needed to about this whole situation.
Ashby, this is not like our regular arguments. This is not just a misunderstanding. This is not something I'm going to sit down and talk to you about and then be suddenly ok with it.
I told you, long ago, when you were first with Lexi, that if you ever hurt her, our friendship was over. You swore on your own life that 1. You had prayed a lot to God, and were absolutly sure that she was The One, and 2. You'd never hurt her, you loved her with all your heart. These conversations I remember vividly, because you and I talked about this many times, and if you try to deny them, then I know you're losing your memory as well.
In my own mind, this whole situation has brought me much grief and guilt, over even introducing you two and putting you two together, I know that everyone says it's not my fault, but this is my own cross to bear, and I will blame myself for this probably until the day I die.
I see that you still care about what goes on in my life, and you know what, you can care all you want. But I want no part of your life. I care not what happens to you. My anger towards you has smoldered into pity, and although you think I don't know what I'm talking about, do realize that while you say that I don't know what I'm talking about, because I'm not there, I can definately assure you that you have no IDEA the pain you have caused both Lexi and myself. Lexi so much more than you will ever know. And, as you've been acting, than you even care about. It is an affront to say that this is all just "silly tension," and to believe that anyone would be ok with you falling out of love so fast and abruptly with them. Plus, on my own personal feelings about that, how in the world could I ever trust you again? I don't want to associate with someone who is this scary and loose with his morals and his promises, and then takes things like this so lightly.
It is not a misunderstanding when I see the conversations that you two have had recently, and I have seen, through your own words, the changes that have occured to you. And I do not like the person you have become.
I am not misunderstanding what has happened to you. I am not reading anything into this that isn't there. I am not speaking from anger and vengence. I am speaking from the perspective of a once true friend, one that you valued at times more than any other, one that you trusted completely, one that saw how beautiful and awesome you used to be and wanted to be just like you towards others in my life, and one that's seen you turn it all upside down and inside out because... I don't know why. You say you feel like you're on the right path, but I have never seen someone so lost as you are now.
*chuckles sadly and shakes head* It just saddens me, because I know that you are discrediting everything I'm saying, and you will see, all too late, what you have traded for such an empty life. Right now, you're in the middle of a bunch of people that see things the way you do, and so therefore, you believe you're doing right, because everyone else is doing the same thing. You used to shun closed minded people, but sadly, you've become one yourself, closed off to what the people who were closest to you are trying to tell you.
We are not wrong. We are not evil. We are not touched by evil and want you to stray from your "path". We are not unwittingly Satan's helpers that are harping on you because we're selfish and want you back the way you were just so you can "feel terrible" about who you are. We are not obsticles for you to "overcome." We are (were, in my case) your friends and confidantes, and we knew you long before those people you're with did. We loved who you were. Not because of you making us feel better at your expense. Not because you made us laugh. Not because of anything that you say made you such an "empty" person. We did see the real Christopher Ashby, and we loved him because he was a wonderful person, just by existing.
The people you grew up with, the people that were around you all the time in Canada, they can't all be wrong. I don't know why you suddenly see "Satan's work" or "obsticles" around you in the people who were best to you and loved you with all their hearts because of you were, not who you worshipped, but this is something that shouldn't be ignored. I know you feel like you're back's against the wall, that you believe none of us understands and that you're alone against the world, but Ashby, we, above anyone else, have understood your pain and helped you through your tribulations. And, on a smaller scale, every perrson in the world has believed that they alone understand and are going through these problems. But it's not true, it never has been true. Others always understand, and at times, they know best, because they're on the outside looking in, and can see things that you have stopped yourself from seeing.
I'm going to stop my blog now, I'm at work, and I'm getting a little too teary to keep talking about this.
...this is how to love a man, and if that doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up...
- Jamaica Kincaid, "Girl"
Name-Cheska
Age-22
School-Life
Graduated from- Gryffindor
bday-10/19
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Best friend's last autobiography
Torture the potions master in horrible, violent ways
New broom
Punch Percy in face
Bring Sirius back to life
Get Ron and Hermione to finally date
Make Umbridge disappear
Bring Dumbledore back to life!!!!
Buy a hippogriff
Buy a dragon
Lexi's Blog
Thalionmorgul
My Art Gallery
Inu vs. Sess (Our gaming review blog)
Da creater
"You do know that Ian's going to kick your ass in like, two seconds, right?"
Alright, I had hoped to avoid all contact with Christopher Ashby for the rest of my life, but it seems that he won't let me. So, I'm going to lay a few things out here, and I'm going to be as calm and rational about it as possible, considering I've had enough time to just realize what I needed to about this whole situation.
Ashby, this is not like our regular arguments. This is not just a misunderstanding. This is not something I'm going to sit down and talk to you about and then be suddenly ok with it.
I told you, long ago, when you were first with Lexi, that if you ever hurt her, our friendship was over. You swore on your own life that 1. You had prayed a lot to God, and were absolutly sure that she was The One, and 2. You'd never hurt her, you loved her with all your heart. These conversations I remember vividly, because you and I talked about this many times, and if you try to deny them, then I know you're losing your memory as well.
In my own mind, this whole situation has brought me much grief and guilt, over even introducing you two and putting you two together, I know that everyone says it's not my fault, but this is my own cross to bear, and I will blame myself for this probably until the day I die.
I see that you still care about what goes on in my life, and you know what, you can care all you want. But I want no part of your life. I care not what happens to you. My anger towards you has smoldered into pity, and although you think I don't know what I'm talking about, do realize that while you say that I don't know what I'm talking about, because I'm not there, I can definately assure you that you have no IDEA the pain you have caused both Lexi and myself. Lexi so much more than you will ever know. And, as you've been acting, than you even care about. It is an affront to say that this is all just "silly tension," and to believe that anyone would be ok with you falling out of love so fast and abruptly with them. Plus, on my own personal feelings about that, how in the world could I ever trust you again? I don't want to associate with someone who is this scary and loose with his morals and his promises, and then takes things like this so lightly.
It is not a misunderstanding when I see the conversations that you two have had recently, and I have seen, through your own words, the changes that have occured to you. And I do not like the person you have become.
I am not misunderstanding what has happened to you. I am not reading anything into this that isn't there. I am not speaking from anger and vengence. I am speaking from the perspective of a once true friend, one that you valued at times more than any other, one that you trusted completely, one that saw how beautiful and awesome you used to be and wanted to be just like you towards others in my life, and one that's seen you turn it all upside down and inside out because... I don't know why. You say you feel like you're on the right path, but I have never seen someone so lost as you are now.
*chuckles sadly and shakes head* It just saddens me, because I know that you are discrediting everything I'm saying, and you will see, all too late, what you have traded for such an empty life. Right now, you're in the middle of a bunch of people that see things the way you do, and so therefore, you believe you're doing right, because everyone else is doing the same thing. You used to shun closed minded people, but sadly, you've become one yourself, closed off to what the people who were closest to you are trying to tell you.
We are not wrong. We are not evil. We are not touched by evil and want you to stray from your "path". We are not unwittingly Satan's helpers that are harping on you because we're selfish and want you back the way you were just so you can "feel terrible" about who you are. We are not obsticles for you to "overcome." We are (were, in my case) your friends and confidantes, and we knew you long before those people you're with did. We loved who you were. Not because of you making us feel better at your expense. Not because you made us laugh. Not because of anything that you say made you such an "empty" person. We did see the real Christopher Ashby, and we loved him because he was a wonderful person, just by existing.
The people you grew up with, the people that were around you all the time in Canada, they can't all be wrong. I don't know why you suddenly see "Satan's work" or "obsticles" around you in the people who were best to you and loved you with all their hearts because of you were, not who you worshipped, but this is something that shouldn't be ignored. I know you feel like you're back's against the wall, that you believe none of us understands and that you're alone against the world, but Ashby, we, above anyone else, have understood your pain and helped you through your tribulations. And, on a smaller scale, every perrson in the world has believed that they alone understand and are going through these problems. But it's not true, it never has been true. Others always understand, and at times, they know best, because they're on the outside looking in, and can see things that you have stopped yourself from seeing.
I'm going to stop my blog now, I'm at work, and I'm getting a little too teary to keep talking about this.
...this is how to love a man, and if that doesn't work there are other ways, and if they don't work don't feel too bad about giving up...
- Jamaica Kincaid, "Girl"