Blog: 11-15-03
Well, last night was interesting.
And I'm not single anymore.
The day started normal enough, just kinda lazy. I even started a short background story on one of my new elf characters. Now that I think about it, ironically, it was about love, or lack thereof.
Then I got a phonecall.
Late last night, he called.
The only man I've ever loved.
I had been expecting to get a day or two with him while he was on leave, before he shipped out. But things have a way of taking an interesting turn, and it turned out that he had to go back to Southern California early and he'd be staying there until he has to go to New Jersey, to his ship he's been assigned to.
But he wanted to see me once before he left.
So I went.
Lexi went with me, which I probably shouldn't have let happen. I knew she wanted to keep an eye on me, to make sure I stayed safe. But I had an idea of what was going to happen ahead of time, I shouldn't have let her come. Bah, I've apologized for it, and I meant it.
the rest of the night was what still has me reeling with disbelief.
I met Sky's parents, well, his mom at least, along with his grandmother, uncle, silbings, and cousins. I didn't get to prep at all, just kinda went into it blindly, grinning, hoping they liked me. His mom said she'd heard lots about me, I said likewise, and that iwas about it. She went to bed, and then Sky and I talked for a while, before heading off to a nearby school to chat. Well, we started cuddling, nothing major, and I realized just how much I adored him.
Then, he kissed me, like he had the first time, and I went to mush.
He told me that, while in boot camp, he'd had a short lived relationship with a girl on base (don't ask me where he got the spare time) but he realized that she wasn't what he wanted, that he wanted me. So, he broke it off with her and waited for me. He also said that the reason he hadn't pursued me before was because he was scared that I'd be the last person he'd ever be with. While he was at boot camp, he realized that he had no one to come home to, all of his past girlfriends weren't worth it, they were all immature idiots, and he was finally ready for a relationship with some real promise, with someone with brains.
He apologized for Christina, the thing in our past that caused me to stop speaking to him for almost three months. He was never with me before this, I do need to say that, I had no control or right to say anything to him about who he saw, it just hurt my feelings. He'd moved back to Sacramento, and he'd always said that if he ever moved back, he and I would see what happened. Well, he got back, and while we were making plans to meet up, he dropped, "Yeah, then you can meet my new girlfriend." Well, that pretty much shattered me, and I called him back and left a message on his machine, saying I was tired of being jerked around, and I was done with it, I didn't have to, nor would I take it.
Well, he hadn't called in months, then one day, I pulled up my e-mail and, low and behold, there was an e-mail from him, titled, "PLEASE READ THIS!!!" Well, I checked it, and it was one of the best apology letters I've ever gotten. He never, EVER apologizes for anything. He said he was sorry for the way things had gone down, and how he wanted and needed me around, needed to talk to me. Finally, I called him. He and I have always had that link, it's weird. And I've always loved him, even when things were going to hell in a handbasket between us.
So, then I find out he's going into the military. Well, he gets shipped off to boot camp, and all I get are letters. But hey, they're better than nothing, right?
Then, we come full circle, back to last night.
I was talking to him about rent and stuff, just regular bull on our way back, and he turned around and grabbed my face, stared me in the eyes, and said, "If you ever need rent money, you give me a call, and I'll make sure you have it." I told him I didn't want to borrow money from him, and he said, "You won't be borrowing it, I'll be giving it to you. I don't want you moving back in with your parents." I laughed, telling him that I wouldn't be moving back in with my parents anyway, I'd be living on the street, and he chuckled and shook his head, then made me promise that if I was ever in trouble, if I ever needed anything, to call him and tell him, and finally I gave in and told him yes, I would if I needed it. Then I said that I didn't want him to worry about me, and he smiled and said, "You're mine now, I'm supposed to worry."
Then, as I was getting ready to go, he pulled me close and said he loved me.
I just stared at him, dumbfounded.
That's what's got me all tied up in knots. It sounds great and everything, like exactly what I've always wanted, but....
Do I trust it?
And if I don't, then why don't I? Because it sounds too good to be true?
Of course, I finally got to say it back to him, and I meant it, I still do, but.... What now? He wants to pay for a plane ticket for me to fly out to New Jersey for when he gets back next year, wants me to be waiting on the dock for him, and I more than likely will be there, but....
I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to get a phone call someday, and he's going to say that long distance is too hard, he's found someone else, and we should just be friends. I mean, if that happened, I don't know what I'd do. I mean, never speak to him again, that's a duh. But....
Another problem I've got is..... I know that if I embrace everything he's said to me, it won't be far off for me to start thinking marriage and family. And that scares me.
Blarg, I didn't even get to bask in the warm fuzzies before the real world crashed in on me. *shakes head* I'm going to get offline now.
Name-Cheska
Age-22
School-Life
Graduated from- Gryffindor
bday-10/19
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Best friend's last autobiography
Torture the potions master in horrible, violent ways
New broom
Punch Percy in face
Bring Sirius back to life
Get Ron and Hermione to finally date
Make Umbridge disappear
Bring Dumbledore back to life!!!!
Buy a hippogriff
Buy a dragon
Lexi's Blog
Thalionmorgul
My Art Gallery
Inu vs. Sess (Our gaming review blog)
Da creater
Blog: 11-15-03
Well, last night was interesting.
And I'm not single anymore.
The day started normal enough, just kinda lazy. I even started a short background story on one of my new elf characters. Now that I think about it, ironically, it was about love, or lack thereof.
Then I got a phonecall.
Late last night, he called.
The only man I've ever loved.
I had been expecting to get a day or two with him while he was on leave, before he shipped out. But things have a way of taking an interesting turn, and it turned out that he had to go back to Southern California early and he'd be staying there until he has to go to New Jersey, to his ship he's been assigned to.
But he wanted to see me once before he left.
So I went.
Lexi went with me, which I probably shouldn't have let happen. I knew she wanted to keep an eye on me, to make sure I stayed safe. But I had an idea of what was going to happen ahead of time, I shouldn't have let her come. Bah, I've apologized for it, and I meant it.
the rest of the night was what still has me reeling with disbelief.
I met Sky's parents, well, his mom at least, along with his grandmother, uncle, silbings, and cousins. I didn't get to prep at all, just kinda went into it blindly, grinning, hoping they liked me. His mom said she'd heard lots about me, I said likewise, and that iwas about it. She went to bed, and then Sky and I talked for a while, before heading off to a nearby school to chat. Well, we started cuddling, nothing major, and I realized just how much I adored him.
Then, he kissed me, like he had the first time, and I went to mush.
He told me that, while in boot camp, he'd had a short lived relationship with a girl on base (don't ask me where he got the spare time) but he realized that she wasn't what he wanted, that he wanted me. So, he broke it off with her and waited for me. He also said that the reason he hadn't pursued me before was because he was scared that I'd be the last person he'd ever be with. While he was at boot camp, he realized that he had no one to come home to, all of his past girlfriends weren't worth it, they were all immature idiots, and he was finally ready for a relationship with some real promise, with someone with brains.
He apologized for Christina, the thing in our past that caused me to stop speaking to him for almost three months. He was never with me before this, I do need to say that, I had no control or right to say anything to him about who he saw, it just hurt my feelings. He'd moved back to Sacramento, and he'd always said that if he ever moved back, he and I would see what happened. Well, he got back, and while we were making plans to meet up, he dropped, "Yeah, then you can meet my new girlfriend." Well, that pretty much shattered me, and I called him back and left a message on his machine, saying I was tired of being jerked around, and I was done with it, I didn't have to, nor would I take it.
Well, he hadn't called in months, then one day, I pulled up my e-mail and, low and behold, there was an e-mail from him, titled, "PLEASE READ THIS!!!" Well, I checked it, and it was one of the best apology letters I've ever gotten. He never, EVER apologizes for anything. He said he was sorry for the way things had gone down, and how he wanted and needed me around, needed to talk to me. Finally, I called him. He and I have always had that link, it's weird. And I've always loved him, even when things were going to hell in a handbasket between us.
So, then I find out he's going into the military. Well, he gets shipped off to boot camp, and all I get are letters. But hey, they're better than nothing, right?
Then, we come full circle, back to last night.
I was talking to him about rent and stuff, just regular bull on our way back, and he turned around and grabbed my face, stared me in the eyes, and said, "If you ever need rent money, you give me a call, and I'll make sure you have it." I told him I didn't want to borrow money from him, and he said, "You won't be borrowing it, I'll be giving it to you. I don't want you moving back in with your parents." I laughed, telling him that I wouldn't be moving back in with my parents anyway, I'd be living on the street, and he chuckled and shook his head, then made me promise that if I was ever in trouble, if I ever needed anything, to call him and tell him, and finally I gave in and told him yes, I would if I needed it. Then I said that I didn't want him to worry about me, and he smiled and said, "You're mine now, I'm supposed to worry."
Then, as I was getting ready to go, he pulled me close and said he loved me.
I just stared at him, dumbfounded.
That's what's got me all tied up in knots. It sounds great and everything, like exactly what I've always wanted, but....
Do I trust it?
And if I don't, then why don't I? Because it sounds too good to be true?
Of course, I finally got to say it back to him, and I meant it, I still do, but.... What now? He wants to pay for a plane ticket for me to fly out to New Jersey for when he gets back next year, wants me to be waiting on the dock for him, and I more than likely will be there, but....
I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to get a phone call someday, and he's going to say that long distance is too hard, he's found someone else, and we should just be friends. I mean, if that happened, I don't know what I'd do. I mean, never speak to him again, that's a duh. But....
Another problem I've got is..... I know that if I embrace everything he's said to me, it won't be far off for me to start thinking marriage and family. And that scares me.
Blarg, I didn't even get to bask in the warm fuzzies before the real world crashed in on me. *shakes head* I'm going to get offline now.