Well, let's see. What's going on...... *drums fingers on table* Finally got to see Matrix: Reloaded. Went with my daddy tonight. Hehe. Mom's out of town, went to see grandma this week. Not fair, she gets to see my horse before I do. *pout* Well, I'll get to see her next month, really excited about that. Working at a new job, extremely stoked about it. A vet hospital! Had today off, will be going back tomorrow. Learning a lot and having tons of fun while I'm learning it.
Having stupid crap happening in my private life, though. I was getting close with a guy that I know from around here, we hung out and all that, even slept on the same couch one night (no, nothing happened). Then, Tiarra and I went to go see him and get some coffee three nights ago now, I believe, and he just ignored me. Could've cared less that I was there. Came home and cried my eyes out, it hurt so much. I still haven't figured it out yet. Why this crap keeps happening to me. With Casey(above guy) I've figured out that it's because of our mutual friend. He and her had gone out for a bit, but she dumped him for someone else. I guess he's still stuck on her, because all he could talk about for a while was how much he hated her new boyfriend and all that. Apparantly, we're pretending like the night we hung out never happened, and that hurts me beyond words. I don't know what to do. Both my mom and Tiarra have agreed that the reason he's probably ignoring me is it's nothing personal, it's just he doesn't want to cause waves with our friend, who is presently in Hawaii. She even called the morning after the night we'd hung out together, and the phone call woke me up. He made it pretty obvious that he was hiding the fact that he and I had hung out, let alone the fact that I'd spent the night. He was all I could think of for a few days, and then to go up and expect something, maybe a hug or something, some recognition..... Only to have that damn door slammed in my face again, and I'm turned away, back into the cold. I read something once, that went something like, "It's always better when it's raining. When it's been raining, nobody can tell that you've been crying." I wanted nothing more than for it to rain right then. I didn't want Tiarra to see me cry, I hate letting people see me cry. I don't like feeling weak. I barelly managed to keep it in check all the way home, but as soon as Tiarra left, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I just laid down on my bed and cried and cried and cried.
I really can't listen to the whole, "You'll find someone someday." I can't believe it anymore. I've got no faith in it. I've been kicked around too much, this was pretty much the last straw for me. Sky was close, Casey just pushed me over the edge. And now, since Bekah, one of my best friends from high school, is moving back home on Wednesday from Tahoe, I know I'm going to start coming back into contact with a whole bunch of people that I used to like.... God, this is really going to suck. Ryan...... Meh, he's still stuck on Bekah. Hell, who ISN'T stuck on Bekah. Love the girl to death, I really do, but she's just..... Well, she's prefect. Every guy I know from high school has wanted Bekah at some time or another. And Ryan, poor Ryan...... He still wants her, came to me for advice, until he found out what I felt for him, then he abandoned me, and we haven't talked for a year. Now..... Now she's coming back, my world's going to be upside down and inside out now, all over again.
I shouldn't be allowed to listen to depressing songs, but.... Blarg. I always get like this towards the end of the night. I just cry myself to sleep every night, it's hard to not start feeling it get to you. So cold inside, it hurts so much.
Meh, I'm finishing this blog now, and I'll be depressed by myself.
Name-Cheska
Age-22
School-Life
Graduated from- Gryffindor
bday-10/19
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Best friend's last autobiography
Torture the potions master in horrible, violent ways
New broom
Punch Percy in face
Bring Sirius back to life
Get Ron and Hermione to finally date
Make Umbridge disappear
Bring Dumbledore back to life!!!!
Buy a hippogriff
Buy a dragon
Lexi's Blog
Thalionmorgul
My Art Gallery
Inu vs. Sess (Our gaming review blog)
Da creater
Well, let's see. What's going on...... *drums fingers on table* Finally got to see Matrix: Reloaded. Went with my daddy tonight. Hehe. Mom's out of town, went to see grandma this week. Not fair, she gets to see my horse before I do. *pout* Well, I'll get to see her next month, really excited about that. Working at a new job, extremely stoked about it. A vet hospital! Had today off, will be going back tomorrow. Learning a lot and having tons of fun while I'm learning it.
Having stupid crap happening in my private life, though. I was getting close with a guy that I know from around here, we hung out and all that, even slept on the same couch one night (no, nothing happened). Then, Tiarra and I went to go see him and get some coffee three nights ago now, I believe, and he just ignored me. Could've cared less that I was there. Came home and cried my eyes out, it hurt so much. I still haven't figured it out yet. Why this crap keeps happening to me. With Casey(above guy) I've figured out that it's because of our mutual friend. He and her had gone out for a bit, but she dumped him for someone else. I guess he's still stuck on her, because all he could talk about for a while was how much he hated her new boyfriend and all that. Apparantly, we're pretending like the night we hung out never happened, and that hurts me beyond words. I don't know what to do. Both my mom and Tiarra have agreed that the reason he's probably ignoring me is it's nothing personal, it's just he doesn't want to cause waves with our friend, who is presently in Hawaii. She even called the morning after the night we'd hung out together, and the phone call woke me up. He made it pretty obvious that he was hiding the fact that he and I had hung out, let alone the fact that I'd spent the night. He was all I could think of for a few days, and then to go up and expect something, maybe a hug or something, some recognition..... Only to have that damn door slammed in my face again, and I'm turned away, back into the cold. I read something once, that went something like, "It's always better when it's raining. When it's been raining, nobody can tell that you've been crying." I wanted nothing more than for it to rain right then. I didn't want Tiarra to see me cry, I hate letting people see me cry. I don't like feeling weak. I barelly managed to keep it in check all the way home, but as soon as Tiarra left, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I just laid down on my bed and cried and cried and cried.
I really can't listen to the whole, "You'll find someone someday." I can't believe it anymore. I've got no faith in it. I've been kicked around too much, this was pretty much the last straw for me. Sky was close, Casey just pushed me over the edge. And now, since Bekah, one of my best friends from high school, is moving back home on Wednesday from Tahoe, I know I'm going to start coming back into contact with a whole bunch of people that I used to like.... God, this is really going to suck. Ryan...... Meh, he's still stuck on Bekah. Hell, who ISN'T stuck on Bekah. Love the girl to death, I really do, but she's just..... Well, she's prefect. Every guy I know from high school has wanted Bekah at some time or another. And Ryan, poor Ryan...... He still wants her, came to me for advice, until he found out what I felt for him, then he abandoned me, and we haven't talked for a year. Now..... Now she's coming back, my world's going to be upside down and inside out now, all over again.
I shouldn't be allowed to listen to depressing songs, but.... Blarg. I always get like this towards the end of the night. I just cry myself to sleep every night, it's hard to not start feeling it get to you. So cold inside, it hurts so much.
Meh, I'm finishing this blog now, and I'll be depressed by myself.