Blarg.
Odd. Blogger wasn't working for a bit, right when I needed to post. Of course, isn't that how it always goes? Well.... Let's see.... I found out some really disturbing things tonight.
When I got home tonight, one of the first things I got from my mom was, "How much do you owe me? I need a check." I know that I owe them money, because of a monstrously large phone bill that I'm hopefully NEVER going to ring up again, but just walking in the door and hearing it first thing is just.... Well, it's discouraging. I know I'm going to be able to save the money for the summer trip, and well in advance, but it's just hard to keep shelling out money. The problem is, I KNOW that it's my fault, that I need to step up to that responisibility. Blarg, so yeah, that bugged me. Dad came into the room, and he and I were joking around about the check and everything, and about how dad should be getting the check this time, for himself, because we always joke around that dad never sees any of the money he makes. Well, mom got all pissed off, like she normally does about this stuff, and was like, "No, this one is for the bills, because she's paying us back for the bills that we had to cover for her, blah blah blah," and so I finally was like, "Ok, I'll cut you the check now. Just bugs me that it's the first thing I hear about when I walk in the front door, it's always, 'Francesca, you need to pay me.'" Well, mom is always sensative about this stuff, and I knew I'd pissed her off before I even finished the sentance. But I was pissed already, and so I walked back out, started writing the check, and she said, "I'm sorry, Francesca, how long would you like me to wait into the evening until I brought this up?" This was the last straw for me, and I said, "It's fine, I don't care, I'm writing the check now, it's fine." All of a sudden, from the living room, I hear something hit the floor and the door slammed. I go back out, and mom's left. Dad and I get into it, about how I don't do anything around the house, that we all have our things to do and I don't do anything, and I asked him how much he wanted me to do, since all I ever hear about is what I don't do, while holding down a full time job on top of school, which is supposed to be my top priority, and he just skirted the whole issue. Then, he told me that mom had apparantly appologized sincerely and I hadn't heard it, which, of course, makes me feel like crap. Then, as if things weren't bad enough, dad says, "Your mom's getting ready to fly the coop and disappear. She's not coping with what's going on in this house, with you growing up, and she can't deal with it. She's getting ready to leave and start a new life for herself. I've seen it before, and I'm seeing it now." Well, I feel like I've been sucker punched. I mean.... My mom, leave us? The strongest person I know, just.... Up and leaving? Apparantly, she's right on the edge, right on the verge of picking up and leaving. That scares the hell out of me. Not just because I'd be lost without her, but what would happen to my dad? That thought makes my blood run cold. I love my dad so much, every time I hear something that's pissed him off, I go off the deep end. And knowing what would happen to him if mom left.... I'm terrified. I don't want my dad to hurt, more than anything in the world. And having a broken family... Not just broken, but knowing mom, we'd never find her again. But it just made me realize that I've got to start kicking everything into high gear. I've got to move out. The problems always center around mom and me, and if I'm out of the equation, mom won't be upset, and she won't leave.
So, yeah, that was my wonderful night.
Blarg.
Name-Cheska
Age-22
School-Life
Graduated from- Gryffindor
bday-10/19
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New wand!
Best friend's last autobiography
Torture the potions master in horrible, violent ways
New broom
Punch Percy in face
Bring Sirius back to life
Get Ron and Hermione to finally date
Make Umbridge disappear
Bring Dumbledore back to life!!!!
Buy a hippogriff
Buy a dragon
Lexi's Blog
Thalionmorgul
My Art Gallery
Inu vs. Sess (Our gaming review blog)
Da creater
Blarg.
Odd. Blogger wasn't working for a bit, right when I needed to post. Of course, isn't that how it always goes? Well.... Let's see.... I found out some really disturbing things tonight.
When I got home tonight, one of the first things I got from my mom was, "How much do you owe me? I need a check." I know that I owe them money, because of a monstrously large phone bill that I'm hopefully NEVER going to ring up again, but just walking in the door and hearing it first thing is just.... Well, it's discouraging. I know I'm going to be able to save the money for the summer trip, and well in advance, but it's just hard to keep shelling out money. The problem is, I KNOW that it's my fault, that I need to step up to that responisibility. Blarg, so yeah, that bugged me. Dad came into the room, and he and I were joking around about the check and everything, and about how dad should be getting the check this time, for himself, because we always joke around that dad never sees any of the money he makes. Well, mom got all pissed off, like she normally does about this stuff, and was like, "No, this one is for the bills, because she's paying us back for the bills that we had to cover for her, blah blah blah," and so I finally was like, "Ok, I'll cut you the check now. Just bugs me that it's the first thing I hear about when I walk in the front door, it's always, 'Francesca, you need to pay me.'" Well, mom is always sensative about this stuff, and I knew I'd pissed her off before I even finished the sentance. But I was pissed already, and so I walked back out, started writing the check, and she said, "I'm sorry, Francesca, how long would you like me to wait into the evening until I brought this up?" This was the last straw for me, and I said, "It's fine, I don't care, I'm writing the check now, it's fine." All of a sudden, from the living room, I hear something hit the floor and the door slammed. I go back out, and mom's left. Dad and I get into it, about how I don't do anything around the house, that we all have our things to do and I don't do anything, and I asked him how much he wanted me to do, since all I ever hear about is what I don't do, while holding down a full time job on top of school, which is supposed to be my top priority, and he just skirted the whole issue. Then, he told me that mom had apparantly appologized sincerely and I hadn't heard it, which, of course, makes me feel like crap. Then, as if things weren't bad enough, dad says, "Your mom's getting ready to fly the coop and disappear. She's not coping with what's going on in this house, with you growing up, and she can't deal with it. She's getting ready to leave and start a new life for herself. I've seen it before, and I'm seeing it now." Well, I feel like I've been sucker punched. I mean.... My mom, leave us? The strongest person I know, just.... Up and leaving? Apparantly, she's right on the edge, right on the verge of picking up and leaving. That scares the hell out of me. Not just because I'd be lost without her, but what would happen to my dad? That thought makes my blood run cold. I love my dad so much, every time I hear something that's pissed him off, I go off the deep end. And knowing what would happen to him if mom left.... I'm terrified. I don't want my dad to hurt, more than anything in the world. And having a broken family... Not just broken, but knowing mom, we'd never find her again. But it just made me realize that I've got to start kicking everything into high gear. I've got to move out. The problems always center around mom and me, and if I'm out of the equation, mom won't be upset, and she won't leave.
So, yeah, that was my wonderful night.
Blarg.